Jared Goldsmith

"Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What's more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dim-witted polar bear business partner,...

Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

When the first-graders' bee antennae would not stay on their heads and the drummers would not stay in their seats for the open house play, Roscoe decides to help by using the "don't-you-dare" glue.

Determined to win a trophy of some kind, first-grader Roscoe swaps a hand-knitted sweater from his grandmother for the chance to enter his new neighbor's very clever dog in a trick contest.

Ms. Hannah wears dresses made out of potholders and collects garbage instead of throwing it out. Plus she's making A.J. be partners with smelly Andrea. This is the worst art class ever!

Principal Klutz was hanging upside down from the school flagpole. He kissed a pig on the lips and painted his bald head orange. And now he wants to bungee jump off the roof of the school dressed as Santa Claus!

Miss Suki is a famous children's book author -- and she's coming to A.J.'s school! She lives in the rainforest and writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose in the classroom, it's the kids who are going to be endangered! Yikes!

A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job.

Roscoe is determined to guess the weight of a giant pumpkin in order to win books for his school library and candy for himself, but is overwhelmed by superstitions, especially about a certain black kitten.

"Beyond your wildest dreams!": What do you dream of being? Pretend along with Blue. "Playdates": It's a day of Spin the Wheel of Playdates to play magic with Periwinkle, or deliver mail with Mailbox or sing along with Joe. "Blue's collection": Blue is missing a circle from her Circle Collection, figure out which circle is missing. "The wrong shirt": Why is Steve wearing a Khaki shirt and green-striped pants? Learning skills include: Imagination, literacy,...